Am I myself when I'm with him?
Do I love him or do I love the idea of him?
Is he good enough for me?
Do my friends and family like him?
Do we have shared long-term goals and values?
How important is a relationship to me at this point in my life?
Is he ready for commitment?
Am I ready for forever?

So yo've met a man, it's going well and you feel it could be something really promising.The question is, should you let yourself fall?It's hard to be objective at the start of a relationship. But asking tough questions at this stage is crusial to your future happiness. 'When I'm with him do I change to "fit in" with him?' 'Does he show me - not just tell me how he feels?' And, most importantly, 'Does he make me feel good?' If this is to be a lasting relationship, then shared values are also crucial." You can have different tastes in music, in clothes, even in the things you like doing, but if you don't have shared values then those other things won't carry you far.

Move In Together..

Am I rushing this?
Am I doing it out of want, or need?
Do I love and accept him as he is and vice versa?
Am I ready to always have him in my space?
What's his financial track record?
Am I relaxed enough to reveal all my flaws?
How do I protect myself financially if we split up?
Where will we live?
How will we merge our tastes and our lives under one roof?

Make sure you give this decision the time it deserves. Be honest:do you really want this or do you just fancy having someone there when you come home? And then there are the practical issues. It's wise to stay as financially independent as possible: there are proposals to change the law (ie cohabiting couples may, in the future, be able to claim for maintenance if they split up) but for now, if you have no wedding ring and no children, you have no rights.If you own property together, signing a co-ownership deed is vital. This states clearly who owns what proportion of the house, and what you agree it's worth.It will save huge disputes in the future if things go sour.

Get Married..

Will we grow together or apart?
Do I like, as well as love, him?
Do we make each other happy?
Can we put up with each others relatives?
Who's going to be the breadwinner? How would we deal with one or the other being the sole provider?
Am I happy waking up next to him for the rest of my life?
Are we going to pool our finances or split them?

Your motives for wanting to get married are often a great indication of the lifespan of the relationship. Is it your age? Family pressure? Are all your friends married? If you married this person because you feel vulnerable, rather than because you're head over heels in love, chances are you'll outgrow each other. The real question is, are you happy being with him every day for a rest of your life? And, unromatic as it may be, it's vital to consider the financial and practical implications. A joint bank account is great for bills or your mortgage, but don't use it for everything. It's also important to consider who'll be the breadwinner. The truth is, what might seem romantic in a boyfriend isn't always as appealing in a life partner. You probably have deep- rooted expectations that you need to think about before accepting a ring from the first man who pops the question.

Have A Baby..

Have we been through toughtimes and come out the other side?
Am I been realistic or idealistic about having a baby?
Do I just want a baby or is it his baby I want?
Am I ready for my life to change forever?
Who will stay at home with a baby?
Can we afford it?
Am I ready for my body to change?
How committed will he be to raising the baby with me?
Do we share similar ideas about parenting?
Is he flexible? Will we able to negotiate 'me' time for both of us?
Is he man enough for someone else to be centre of my universe?
There are so many questions to ask before having a baby that, for many, it's overhelming.Others don't ask questions and find themselves totally unprepared. A vital question to ask before parenthood is:Are we a good team? You need to know you communicate well. You also need to think about who'll look after the baby.

Split Up..

Do I really feel there's nothing to save in this relationship?
Am I expecting too much?
Is this relationship history repeating itself?
If I do want to save this relationship, am I willing to put the effort in?
What about mutual friends? Will I see them after we split?
Can we still be friends or do I want a clean break?
Can I cope with seeing him with another woman - or me being with another man?
Am I looking for someone new - or do I want to be single for a while?
You feel it's the end of the road, but is finishing it what you really want? We're often too ready to give up, and throw out something salvageable because we feel we can't fix it. If you have trust, laughter and respect, you probably have something worth saving.