It’s as common as a cold, ruins relationships and affects women of every age and social background. Isn’t it time you banished the doubts that characterise low self-esteem? The good news is that women are forging ahead in all walks of life. So what’s the bad news? Although outwardly happy and successful, many of us are secretly crippled by low self-esteem. Many women describe themselves as “people pleasers” but are actually their own worst critic.

Low self-esteem doesn’t develop overnight. The way you see yourself is usually based on your early relationships with your parents and siblings, and your subsequent experiences. Positive feedback and happy experiences will help you feel good about yourself. Negative stuff can do the opposite. Your self-esteem can be knocked by bullying, critical feedback and negative experiences such as unemployment and lack of social interaction. It becomes a vicious cycle. You start to believe you’re not clever/pretty/interesting enough. Then without knowing it you start hanging out with people who reinforce those feelings. It becomes difficult to appreciate your successes and all too easy to notch up the failures.

Here are some questions you should be asking yourself.. Do you often feel inadequate? Do you experience unaccountable doubts of sadness? Do you sometimes feel embarrassed in front of other people? Do you often feel as though you have failed despite obvious successes? Do you feel that you have to work hard to be liked and accepted by other people? Do you find it hard to accept compliments or recognition from other people?

If you’ve answered yes to any of those you may be suffering from low self-esteem. But however agonising it may be for you, the odds are that many people around you haven’t a clue how you feel. We all have different ways of coping with these feeling, but most of us fall into one of three types.

The Imposter – Others describe you are dynamic and successful but you feel like a fraud, are terrified of failure and dreading the moment people recognise the ‘real’ you. You work full time, hold spectacular parties and grow your own vegetables. If anyone wants a volunteer to organise an event, take care of relatives or work over the Christmas holiday, you’re there. You seem to thrive on a hamster wheel of activity and others are amazed by how you do it all. But for you it’s all about proving your worth and covering your tracks because far from feeling on top of everything you believe you’re a failure and live in fear of being rumbled.

Low Self-Esteem Continued..

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