Rate your decisions – it may seem obvious, but in order to be a good decision-maker we need to learn to recognise which decisions warrant time and emotional energy and which don’t. It’s surprisingly easy to go along at such a fast pace that without thinking we spend too much time on the small decisions and find ourselves unable to give enough focus to the ones that really count. These unresolved decisions then start circling in our minds, causing stress, draining energy and waking us in the small hours of the morning.
Rate the importance of decisions by considering the impact of that decision over time. Ask yourself: Will this matter in five minutes? Next year? Make one-star decisions that don’t really matter instantly (Should I meet a friend for coffee?), but allow plenty of time – three months is a good benchmark – to make five-star ones (Should we move to the countryside?) that will still matter in 12 months’ time.

Do the obvious – we talk about following our hearts or our heads, but good decisions need to be a mix of both. Listen to your intuition, but get all the facts too. For a big decision, make a list of all the “pro” and “cons”, talk things through with a friend to make sure you get an unbiased view, and do all the research to have as much information as possible. Be warned, though – if you find yourself going over the same ground too much, something is making you procrastinate and put off the decision. Try asking yourself: What will happen if I don’t act and the scenario I most fear comes about? It’s better to act to secure the best possible outcome instead.

Embrace the fear – decisive people accept they might make mistakes, but move on from them. Indecisive people spend a lifetime thinking “what if..” and “if only..” Accept that there is no such thing as a totally right or wrong decision, just different life paths. This will make decisions a lot easier. Even if you do make a “mistake”, such as leaving a job you like for a “dream” job that turns out to be a nightmare, you will learn from the experience and that will then help you make a better decision next time. However negative a situation might seem, when you consider the bigger picture, you’ll realise that it wasn’t necessarily the wrong decision, but simply another one of life’s learning opportunities.

Allow for compromise – often people can’t make a decision because they have a fixed view on the perfect outcome. It’s true that those who believe they will fail to achieve their goals are unhappy, as are those who believe they will exactly meet their goals. Those who are happiest believe they will meet some of their goals and receive satisfaction from multiple aspects of their lives. In other words, there are always more options than the obvious ones available. A simple example might be if you can’t decide whether to stay in your three-bed or move to a four-bed house, have you considered building an extension?

Take time out – if you do have a big decision to make, allow plenty of time for relaxation and creative activities that allow your mind to switch off and “wander free” for a while. It’s often during these more relaxed times that useful insights pop into your mind, which will help you make a good decision.

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