Modern marriage isn't easy - and almost 70 per cent of divorces are now initiated by the wife. So is that a victory for girl power or sad reflection of the increasing pressures on juggling women? Let's find out how to put the love back into your relationship. For many women marriage can become a loveless trap, where you can hardly remember those blissful days when you first tied the knot. It seems that life sometimes just gets in the way, what with running a home, children, the job. Frankly, the last person you have any time for is your husband. Affection vanishes, resentment builds and slowly you start to wonder if he even actually likes you any more. And it can work both ways.

According to the Office for National Statistics, marriage is still the preferred union. Some 50 per cent of women in the UK are married, while only 10 per cent cohabit. The average age of divorce for a woman is now 39. Most agree that if there's any chance a marriage can be saved, all effort should be made to do so. Psychologists say that people usually divorce because they simply can't see a way forward. They've tried every option, but feel that they face a brick wall that's insurmountable.

Take our test overleaf and find out if your marriage needs attention. There are the five key questions that can reveal if you're heading for divorce - and what you can do about it:

1. Do you go to bed together? - Bedtime provides a vital opportunity for talking and love making. When one of you starts staying up later, it's a sign of withdrawal from sexual contact - and also intimacy. If you know you're doing this, try to understand why. Are you angry? Resentful? Feeling abandoned? It's crucial that you talk to your partner and address the real problem.

2. Are you becoming increasingly independent? - It's important that you pursue your own interests, before returning to share your experiences with your partner. But problems arise in 'drifting' relationship, where one person wants to share - but the other doesn't. If you embark on independent activities with other people, you may find you are starting to replace your partner - investing more in your friends than you do in your marriage. That's slippery slope. By putting your energy into your husband and home life you'll maintain a far stronger union.

3. Are your children more important than your partner? - Couples should be committed to raising their children, but if you're using them to prop up your relationship, you'll be in trouble further down the line. Your children will be with you for 16-18 years but your partner will hopefully be there for the next 40 - so put him first occasionally! A staggering number of couples leave home after the children have gone - often because they've neglected their own relationship during those child-rearing years.
Remind yourselves of your own personal identities, not just prioritize your partner.

4. Are your arguments circular? - Do you argue about the same old things, over and over again? Niggling about leaving the top off the toothpaste or bickering about who should unload the dishwasher? In fact, these petty concerns aren't the real issue - the real issue is, always, underlying feelings of anger, neglect or resentment and needing a vent for your frustrations. It's not about tidying up, it's about why he doesn't tell you he loves you.
The remedy? Face up to what you really want to say - or what you'd like your partner to say to you. And don't wait until the next argument; this sort of discussion shouldn't happen in the heat of the moment.
Wait until you're both in a good place and things are going well. And don't rule out counseling - the best time to seek practical advice is when your disenchantment is in its infancy - not five years down the road, when is too late.

5. Are you having an 'affair'? - That doesn't have to mean clinches in lay-bys; it may just mean that someone else has become important to you. If you're investing time in any relationship outside your marriage, that's as good as an affair - and it's problem.
People often assume that once married you'll never be attracted to anyone else, but that's naive. The issue is what you choose to do about it. It might seem innocent - just sending texts or having a coffee - but you are on dangerous ground.
It's usually attention that we crave when embarking on external relationships, so tell your partner how you feel now, rather than seeking solace elsewhere. Don't send your 'friend' flirty emails...send them to your husband instead!